Say You’re Sorry is a timely, insightful podcast series about public apologies, exploring why they’re harder to give (and receive) than you might expect. By going deep on nine different apologies — for everything from YouTube drama to sexual harassment to Cold War experiments — the show offers a new way to think about what it means to say you’re sorry. See below for additional notes from each episode, and full transcripts.
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EPISODE ONE: The Anatomy of an Apology
It seems like every day there’s a new apology in the news. But are all these “I’m sorry”s actually getting us anywhere? Lux Alptraum and Siona Peterous take a close look at Justin Timberlake’s Instagram apology to Britney Spears and Janet Jackson.
Further Reading:
- Cry Me A River video
- Barbara Walters interviews Justin Timberlake
- Justin Timberlake Went on a Radio Show and Bragged About Taking Britney Spears’s Virginity — TMZ
- Supercut of Justin talking about Britney
- 2004 Superbowl Half-Time Show
- Budweiser “Wardrobe Malfunction” Ad
- Court Throws Out Superbowl Fine — The New York Times
- Framing Britney Spears documentary
- Justin Timberlake’s apology post
- Should Justin Timberlake Apologize? By Scaachi KoulSpecial thanks to Keith Houston, who played Justin Timberlake’s voice.
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE TWO: Too Good to Be True
When Lacy Crawford published a memoir about being sexually assaulted as a student at the elite, exclusive St. Paul’s School, she hoped it would spark change on campus. A beautifully written apology from the school board made her feel heard and hopeful, but the events that followed told a different story.
Further Reading:
- Lacy Crawford’s original tweet about the St. Paul’s apology
- Notes on a Silencing by Lacy Crawford
- Author Lacy Crawford Looks Back At Her Sexual Assault In New Memoir — Weekend Edition
- State of New Hampshire v St. Paul’s settlement agreement
- Rape Case Raises Troubling Issues At St. Paul’s School, Sociologist Says — Weekend Edition
- Jeffrey T. Maher Named Independent Compliance Overseer for St. Paul’s School — New Hampshire Department of Justice
- Jeffrey Maher’s letter of resignation
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE THREE: Ariana Grande Has Sent You a Message
Culture critic Roslyn Talusan used to love Ariana Grande. But when an off-color tweet about Ariana triggered harassment from a horde of angry stans, that love turned to hate. But she never expected a direct message apology from the pop superstar herself.
Further Reading:
- Why Are We Still Treating Britney Spears’s Health Struggles as a “Rough Patch”? by Roslyn Talusan
- Ariana Gets Emotional During a Beats 1 Interview
- Ariana Grande No Longer Has a Tattoo That Says “Barbecue Grill” in Japanese — The Cut
- Why is Ariana Grande Mad at Bloggers? — The Cut
- Ariana Grande Fans Harassed A Writer After She Criticized The Singer. Ariana Then DM’d Her Saying Her Fans Had “Similar Energy” To The Critiques. by Tanya Chen
- This Writer Challenged Ariana Grande. Then Her Stans Attacked by Manisha Krishnan
- Special thanks to Julia Furlan, who read Ariana Grande’s messages in this episode.
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE FOUR: The Business of Saying Sorry
It’s incredibly rare to find a corporate apology that amounts to anything more than a company protecting profits. This is the story of two families who lost loved ones at the hands of corporate negligence, and how one of them actually got a meaningful response.
Further Reading:
- Deepwater Report to the President
- CSPAN Keith Jones testimony
- CSPAN Chris Jones testimony
- CSPAN Tony Hayward testimony
- NTSB Accident Report from Air Midwest Flight 5481
- Companies Publicly Apologize to Families of the Air Midwest Flight 5481 Crash
- Air Midwest Flight 5481 — Public Apology
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE FIVE: An American Apology
In 1993, a dogged journalist uncovered a shocking secret: the United States had injected people with plutonium without their knowledge or consent. That discovery set off a chain of events that not only culminated in an apology from President Clinton himself, but set into motion a much more famous mea culpa.
Further Reading:
- Political Apologies Across Cultures
- It’s Never Too Late to Say “I’m Sorry”: Sovereign Apologies Over the Years — Just Security
- President Clinton apologizes for 1893 overthrow of Hawaiian monarchy
- The “Clinton Apology”
- Clinton Opposes Slavery Repartions But Says He’s Considering an Apology for Slavery — CNN
- The Plutonium Files by Eileen Wellsome
- Congressional Hearings on Human Radiation Experiments
- Family of Radiation Test Victim Angered by Government’s Deceit — The Washington Post
- Atomic Guinea Pigs — The New York Times
- 44 Years Later, the Truth About the “Science Club” — New York Times
- Radiation Tests on Women Confirmed — The Washington Post
- Human Radiation Experiments — Atomic Heritage Foundation
- Advisory Committee on Human Radiation Experiments Heart July 5, 1994: parts 1, 2, and 3
- Full transcript and video of Bill Clinton’s apology to victims and survivors of America’s Cold War era human radiation experiments
- Advisory Committee on Human Radiation Experiments – Final Report
- President Clinton’s apology to the survivors of the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE SIX: To All the Fans I’ve Let Down
At this point, the trademarks of a YouTube apology are infamous. Which makes it all the more surprising that beauty influencer Gabriel Zamora’s apology video didn’t just save his career — but actually won over a few apology skeptics in the process.
Further Reading:
- “My Truth” — Gabriel Zamora’s full apology video
- “Gabriel Zamora’s Apology Has Changed Everything” — Christian Hull’s video analyzing the Dramageddon apologies
- I Turned YouTuber Apologies into a Board Game
- I Have to Apologize For This… – Instant Influencer
- How YouTubers Turned the Apology Video into a Genre — Vice
- Everything to Know About the Drama Between Jeffree Star, Manny MUA, Gabriel Zamora, and Laura Lee — Teen Vogue
- Here’s What’s Going On With All The Drama Between Popular Beauty YouTubers Accusing One Another Of Being Racist — BuzzFeed
- Desus & Mero’ Provide A Complete History Of Makeup Artist Jeffree Star’s Hateful Rhetoric — Elle
- YouTubers Have Turned Terrible Apology Videos Into a Genre. These Are the Worst — LA Mag
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE SEVEN: I’m Sorry If…
When a famous abuser apologizes, we tend to focus on their redemption arc — usually at the expense of survivors. This is the story of four women who were harassed and abused by the playwright Israel Horovitz, and what it felt like to hear him apologize after decades of angry denial.
Further Reading:
- Sexual Harassment, Trouble at the Gloucester Stage Company by Bill Marx
- Nine Women Accuse Israel Horovitz, Playwright and Mentor, of Sexual Misconduct by Jessica Bennett
- Maia’s original Facebook post about her experience with Israel Horovitz
- Mea Culpa. Kinda Sorta. — The New York Times
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE EIGHT: The Call for Reparations
What kind of remedy is appropriate after a something as horrific as genocide, when a verbal apology could never adequately address the harm done? For many people, the obvious answer is reparations. This episode tackles two stories of survival and remediation, with host Lux Alptraum’s family exploring their own experience with Holocaust reparations, and the descendents of Namibian genocide survivors discussing their uphill battle for reparations of their own.
Further Reading:
- Video of the apology offered by Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul at a 2004 ceremony commemorating the
- Claims Conference
- Summary of major Holocaust compensation programs — Claims Conference
- The Association of the Ovaherero Genocide in the USA
- The Troubling Origins of the Skeletons in a New York Museum — The New Yorker
- Video of the apology offered by Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul at a 2004 ceremony commemorating the hundredth anniversary of the Battle of Waterberg
- Rukoro v Germany
- Herero chief Vekuii Rukoro dies after COVID diagnosisA
- dditional music provided by Alexander Zlatkovski and Hanna Nguriye Ngavee
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
EPISODE NINE: A Family Affair
When Jade got an unexpected apology from her mother, it didn’t just change their relationship. It shifted her entire understanding of what it means to say, “I’m sorry.”
FULL TRANSCRIPT (pdf)
OTHER RESOURCES & SPECIAL THANKS
Justice Through Apologies by Nick Smith
I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies by Nick Smith
Special thanks to Good Peeples Studio
Transcriptions by Emily White at The Wordary.